Daniel Sloss – My Uninformed Hatred transforms into Informed Apathy

3 Aug

I’m going to level with you.  I’ve taken an active dislike to Daniel Sloss. I don’t trust his face.  And I don’t like his face.  I haven’t liked it since I first saw his poster this afternoon.  He has the face of someone who was has thought himself beautiful ever since his mother first told him “Oo – you’re so handsome Slossy”.

I have done no research other than repeatedly glare at his enlarged poster-ized face, but I believe Sloss-bucket is a comedian who went into comedy after being rejected by numerous girls and a boyband recruiting agent.  The trouble is, he’s just not funny.  I imagine.

I may be reading too much into it (though I doubt it), but Sloss-face’s poster screams: “Look daddy – I’m famous, successful, and handsome.  Please look!”.  Well Daddy isn’t going to look Danny.  Because daddy doesn’t love you.  And neither do I.

I have just read about Sloss-puppy on Wikipedia, and watched a clip of him on Youtube and, incredibly, my baseless prejudice didn’t turn out to be 100% accurate.  While I thought his sets would be crammed full of gags about beauty products (I could only find a single joke about Maybelline), they were in fact fairly self-effacing and cheeky.  I want to rant about his banality, I really do, but he’s bored me into submission.

Daddy still doesn’t love you Danny, but he doesn’t hate you either (who is your daddy?).  He’s just bored of the sight of you.  And he’s gunna kick you once more for good luck (I’m your daddy).

– Adam


12 Responses to “Daniel Sloss – My Uninformed Hatred transforms into Informed Apathy”

  1. Geoffy August 3, 2010 at 10:15 pm #

    I want more, so so much more

  2. Jessica August 11, 2010 at 11:38 pm #

    This is possibly the funniest thing i’ve ever read. See Daniel is one of my very good friends, and you couldnt be more wrong about the boy!

  3. FatMike August 12, 2010 at 8:05 am #

    You are a wanker! Daniel Sloss FTW!

  4. adamandthewolf August 12, 2010 at 11:15 am #

    It’s getting awfully hard to remain uninformed with y’all chipping in the whole time…

    • Dan Casey August 12, 2010 at 1:17 pm #

      and just what, Adam, are you good at? i cant help but get the impression your daddy bought you a computer complete with a keyboard and a budgeted microphone to go along with the big mouth you inherited from him and you’re having a whale of a time. your such a moany one.

      • adamandthewolf August 12, 2010 at 1:25 pm #

        I’m pretty good at judging a book by its cover. For example this is clearly a snooze fest with no intellectual worth.

      • sophie August 12, 2010 at 8:54 pm #

        Aw yeeah? Well, I he daddy, Dan Casey. And I’ma fuck you up.
        (that was a joke. I thought I should point it out given that you appear to be unfamiliar with the concept)

    • Dan Casey August 12, 2010 at 2:41 pm #

      There isn’t much intellectual worth on a book cover either.

  5. scunner August 12, 2010 at 4:58 pm #

    I gather Mr Sloss thinks this is one of the funniest things he’s read. Despite his many talents, he clearly hasn’t read much.

  6. Tyminski August 12, 2010 at 7:32 pm #

    Daniel Sloss’ mother is one of the most unlikely women I have ever met to pander to her son in such a way. She is much more likely to remind him what an ugly git he is. Her dry humour is unparalleled. However it’s your loss, Adam, if you want to make snap-judgements.

    • adamandthewolf August 12, 2010 at 9:26 pm #

      there’s no denying that what my judgements lack in accuracy, they make up for in snappiness.

  7. sophie August 12, 2010 at 8:00 pm #

    Daniel Sloss has lovely pouty pout. I wish I could lick his face clean instead of repeatedly tonguing the poster I took hostage. The ink is wearing away and I may be poisoned.
    Adam and The Wolf FTW!

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